I started this post yesterday morning even before I knew where the day would lead. Anticipation of juggling an energetic toddler at home while making sure to spend time at the bedside of a brand new baby in intensive care weighed heavily on me from the moment I woke up.
We started our Saturday with breakfast as a family as usual. Jonathan and I set a game plan for the day. He’d take the ball full of energy to burn off steam at the local play place and bring her back for lunch and nap while went to the NICU with our little boy. We’d meet up at the hospital in the afternoon and be home for an early evening after visiting baby Jackson as a family.
I should know by now that the best laid plans are really just ticking time bombs. My Mom drove me to the hospital and while in route I felt a little off. My thought was I may not have taken my pain medication and vitamins with enough food. I don’t typically do well with iron multivitamins unless I’ve had plenty to eat. I figured it would pass.
I arrived at Jackson’s bedside and still felt a little strange. We had our first attempt at breast feeding with the lactation consultant and he did great! It was such a fantastic milestone. I held him for the next little bit and we finished his full feed by bottle.
This is when the day took a turn for the worst. I began feeling flush and nauseous. Next thing I know, I end up in triage because I’ve somehow picked up a stomach bug. By the time we get home, I’m running 101.6 temp, I’m in bed and now Jonathan is trying to take care of me and Sofia.
She, at this point, just wants to play with Mommy since she hasn’t seen me all day and doesn’t understand why she has to stay away. This has already been a bit of a confusing transition for her and this added to her stress. What is normally a few minutes for bedtime turned into an hour and 45 minutes of screaming at the top of her lungs despite attempts to soothe her and put her back in bed or letting her scream.
There’s no other time when I wish I could be in two different places at the same time, or honestly three different places. One sick in bed, one playing with my toddler and bedside with my newborn son. It will be at least 24 hours until I’m allowed back to the NICU, it breaks my heart to be away that long but it would kill me to pass something on to him.
This adds a new dimension to the great NICU/home balancing act.