Sofia is now 20 months old, almost 20.5 months and sometimes it feels like an eternity since we walked out of that NICU. I’ve been thinking a lot about our experience in its entirety over the past few weeks, from finding out we were pregnant, through the crazy pregnancy and Sofia’s emotional birth. We are pretty close to the 2 year mark so the questions start coming a little more regularly…when are you going to try for #2? Thinking about trying soon? Just by nature the more you are asked the more you ask yourself, the more I ask my husband. We’ve even turned the question to Sofia. Sofie, what do you think about a brother? Her response, “Bruder”? It almost always comes back as a question. Ironic, really.
So, we talk and discuss. Is it the right time, can we afford it, are we ready? Pretty typical. Sofia’s almost two, logically, if we start trying now, by the time we have a baby she’ll be almost three or just past her third birthday…right? I mean theoretically, babies take 10 months to grow but what happens when the last one barely took over 6 months?! How do you not think about that? How do you choose a new Doctor and not consider the level NICU they are associated with? Will this NICU be as good? Sure, I had my surgery. This was my safe guard. Remove the fibroid tumors, they were most likely the issue. But what if they weren’t? I asked this to the OB who performed the surgery. He said, “We’ll find out next pregnancy”. It was a statement of fact, no sugar coating, no hemming and hawing, just a statement.
I’ve come to realize that even though the first pregnancy was riddled in the unknown and “what ifs” of being a first time pregnancy, another pregnancy may be tainted with past experience, compounded with how it will effect baby #1. I feel our NICU experience made me stronger as a mother, my bond with her is surreal. My patience, on most days, because let’s face it, she’s a toddler and they are crazy, runs deeper than I could imagine. As far as NICU stays, I feel it was a positive journey. But how to you leave it behind? How do you keep your past experience from defining your future? How do you stop being a NICU Mom when you are ready to become a Mom again?
I had no clue the path we would be on when that first pregnancy test flashed with a confirmation of a new adventure. I didn’t know the lessons Sofia would teach me in her very first moments of life, lessons in perseverance, strength and faith. All I can do is follow her lead. Be in awe of each new experience and draw strength from faith. I have to learn to give up my analyzing and have faith that the next adventure will present itself as it is intended. I hope I can live in the moment of that new confirmation and just think of it as a NEW adventure, a NEW journey…

Sofia is now 20 months old, almost 20.5 months and sometimes it feels like an eternity since we walked out of that NICU. I’ve been thinking a lot about our experience in its entirety over the past few weeks, from finding out we were pregnant, through the crazy pregnancy and Sofia’s emotional birth. We are pretty close to the 2 year mark so the questions start coming a little more regularly…when are you going to try for #2? Thinking about trying soon? Just by nature the more you are asked the more you ask yourself, the more I ask my husband. We’ve even turned the question to Sofia. Sofie, what do you think about a brother? Her response, “Bruder”? It almost always comes back as a question. Ironic, really.
So, we talk and discuss. Is it the right time, can we afford it, are we ready? Pretty typical. Sofia’s almost two, logically, if we start trying now, by the time we have a baby she’ll be almost three or just past her third birthday…right? I mean theoretically, babies take 10 months to grow but what happens when the last one barely took over 6 months?! How do you not think about that? How do you choose a new Doctor and not consider the level NICU they are associated with? Will this NICU be as good? Sure, I had my surgery. This was my safe guard. Remove the fibroid tumors, they were most likely the issue. But what if they weren’t? I asked this to the OB who performed the surgery. He said, “We’ll find out next pregnancy”. It was a statement of fact, no sugar coating, no hemming and hawing, just a statement.
I’ve come to realize that even though the first pregnancy was riddled in the unknown and “what ifs” of being a first time pregnancy, another pregnancy may be tainted with past experience, compounded with how it will effect baby #1. I feel our NICU experience made me stronger as a mother, my bond with her is surreal. My patience, on most days, because let’s face it, she’s a toddler and they are crazy, runs deeper than I could imagine. As far as NICU stays, I feel it was a positive journey. But how to you leave it behind? How do you keep your past experience from defining your future? How do you stop being a NICU Mom when you are ready to become a Mom again?
I had no clue the path we would be on when that first pregnancy test flashed with a confirmation of a new adventure. I didn’t know the lessons Sofia would teach me in her very first moments of life, lessons in perseverance, strength and faith. All I can do is follow her lead. Be in awe of each new experience and draw strength from faith. I have to learn to give up my analyzing and have faith that the next adventure will present itself as it is intended. I hope I can live in the moment of that new confirmation and just think of it as a NEW adventure, a NEW journey…

Sofia is now 20 months old, almost 20.5 months and sometimes it feels like an eternity since we walked out of that NICU. I’ve been thinking a lot about our experience in its entirety over the past few weeks, from finding out we were pregnant, through the crazy pregnancy and Sofia’s emotional birth. We are pretty close to the 2 year mark so the questions start coming a little more regularly…when are you going to try for #2? Thinking about trying soon? Just by nature the more you are asked the more you ask yourself, the more I ask my husband. We’ve even turned the question to Sofia. Sofie, what do you think about a brother? Her response, “Bruder”? It almost always comes back as a question. Ironic, really.
So, we talk and discuss. Is it the right time, can we afford it, are we ready? Pretty typical. Sofia’s almost two, logically, if we start trying now, by the time we have a baby she’ll be almost three or just past her third birthday…right? I mean theoretically, babies take 10 months to grow but what happens when the last one barely took over 6 months?! How do you not think about that? How do you choose a new Doctor and not consider the level NICU they are associated with? Will this NICU be as good? Sure, I had my surgery. This was my safe guard. Remove the fibroid tumors, they were most likely the issue. But what if they weren’t? I asked this to the OB who performed the surgery. He said, “We’ll find out next pregnancy”. It was a statement of fact, no sugar coating, no hemming and hawing, just a statement.
I’ve come to realize that even though the first pregnancy was riddled in the unknown and “what ifs” of being a first time pregnancy, another pregnancy may be tainted with past experience, compounded with how it will effect baby #1. I feel our NICU experience made me stronger as a mother, my bond with her is surreal. My patience, on most days, because let’s face it, she’s a toddler and they are crazy, runs deeper than I could imagine. As far as NICU stays, I feel it was a positive journey. But how to you leave it behind? How do you keep your past experience from defining your future? How do you stop being a NICU Mom when you are ready to become a Mom again?
I had no clue the path we would be on when that first pregnancy test flashed with a confirmation of a new adventure. I didn’t know the lessons Sofia would teach me in her very first moments of life, lessons in perseverance, strength and faith. All I can do is follow her lead. Be in awe of each new experience and draw strength from faith. I have to learn to give up my analyzing and have faith that the next adventure will present itself as it is intended. I hope I can live in the moment of that new confirmation and just think of it as a NEW adventure, a NEW journey…