My husband I are fairly confident that we are done having children. Adding another person to any relationship is a challenge. Even if it’s a child. It’s another persons needs and of course a baby has tons of those, another persons schedule and eventually, another set of opinions and likes to take into consideration. Each new baby disrupts the existing cohesion and it takes some time to find a new groove that works for everyone.
Maybe other couples have an easier time but being completely honest, we suck at the baby stage. We are exhausted and our patience is minimal at best. Our fiery side is definitely lit during those first months. It’s tough for a while.
I think we hit our stride again after the first full year. But with the 2nd baby, you still have the needs of the first happening at the same time! So, the struggle to get Jackson to sleep has mixed with Sofia fighting through cronic ear infections. It’s at times enough to make you lose your mind.
But tonight we sat back and talked about this being our last “first birthday”. Jackson’s “first” are our “last first”. It’s bittersweet. Our little guy is also fighting an ear infection that we just can’t shake. He was uncomfortable and in pain tonight. I was able to slow down and appreciate this moment where he needed me just for comfort.
After finally getting him comfortable enough to fall asleep, big sister started crying out too. We went in to her room, both of us and rocked our “big girl”, gave her some drops for her ears and waited till she was comfortable enough to sleep.
Tonight they needed us. We may not sleep much during these days but we are needed and loved. I hope I’m able to be in these moments more often and appreciate even the difficult moments because they pass so quickly and these are our last moments for these young littles that need us.
When Sofia was a baby, I read a Meme of Facebook that said “My baby isn’t giving me a hard time, they are having a tough time”. I’ve never forgotten those words. I haven’t gotten much of my “to do” list for organization accomplished these last few weeks but I’ve gotten in a ton of snuggles and giggles. Everything else can wait, these little moments won’t and these are our “lasts”.
