If you have a toddler, or know a toddler, I’m sure you’ve been privy to watching their simple world implode because of some small detail like; they wanted to cut their watermelon on their own. This catastrophe almost always happens unexpectedly. Example, you have cut the watermelon for them EVERY DAY of their young 3 year life but today, somehow, you missed the memo on honing your mind reading abilities and your actions have now torn a gaping hole in the space-time continuum and the world as we know it is now ending.
This was my evening last night. Not only did I ruin my toddler’s life once but I devastated her world no less than 4 times because…I’m good like that. This is what I like to call “tantrum dominoes”, it’s a fun game where I can’t win, the rules change continuously and the momentum is so fierce it will leave you chugging straight from the wine bottle by 9pm. It’s basically an extreme sport. Walk with me while I show you how it unfolded.
It all started with asking her to put her shoes on in order to make a grocery run for dinner. She showed no signs of doing such an activity by herself so, Grandma attempted to put her shoes on for her. (So, technically Grandma started all of it….sigh, Grandmas and their helpfulness!) This started an epic battle of wills, Grandma won. Bonus points for Grandma. We make it to the car; I try to lift her into her seat…fail! Some screaming ensues, a promise of a free cookie at the grocery store pacifies and we finally get on the road.
Get to grocery store, there are no sprinkle cookies. NO SPRINKLE COOKIES! “Where shopping is a pleasure”, unless there are no sprinkle cookies left, in which case shopping is not a pleasure at all! You have to understand, in Sofia’s world, we get 2 cookies at every Publix trip. Her cookie is a sprinkle cookie, JT’s cookie is a chocolate chip cookie…there is no feasible way they can both consume the same type of cookie. And she stuck to her guns and had nothing to do with that chocolate chip cookie. I’d admire her conviction if it didn’t mean I spent 30 minutes of my life hearing about the travesty of the lack of sprinkles in her life.
We get home for dinner, quesadilla and taco night! My loving husband did me a favor of getting dinner started. Unfortunately, this meant that he did all the cooking without Sofia’s help and this was tantrum 3 at which point, Mommy’s patience were about maxed out. I scooped her up to get her in her seat and this turned into World War III because she wanted to get in herself. By the time we came to a truce and I reached for her plate it became apparent that the dog had somehow misunderstood dinner and felt that the quesadilla served on the pink plate was his dinner. Dammit, Hurley! The universe was clearly having a good time at my expense.
As a backup, we attempted to serve her a hard taco….BLASPHEMY! The world was at this point decimated. This is what the end of days looks like folks! It took no less than 30 minutes to get her to calm down and actually sit down for dinner.
For those wondering when baby #3 is coming…oh, you are cute!
***Disclaimer: No parents, children or dogs were injured in the making of this post***
